5 DAY CHALLENGE - DAY 1

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Welcome! Let’s dive in.

Today we’ll start out by covering:

What self talk is
Becoming aware of what you hear inside
One simple question to ask yourself when you hear critical self talk.

Self talk is that endless stream of conversation that happens in your head automatically.

i.e. your thoughts about yourself.

It comes from your mind, specifically from:

your upbringing
memories
beliefs, etc.

Sometimes you can hear the voice of your mother in your thoughts, and sometimes it sounds like the mean girl from high school.

Whether limiting self talk is something you hear EVERY DAY … whether it shows up when you’re hitting a wall or have messed up, THIS is your guide to silencing that voice and nurturing a much kinder, more empowered voice to speak to you instead.

Your challenge will take you less than 9 minutes a day – totally doable, right? So right now, block out 9 minutes in your schedule for the next few days to do the challenge.

I’ll wait. Your future self thanks you. ;)

How self talk shows up is different for each of us —

Step 1 in the 5 Day Challenge is to simply recognize what yours is saying.

Notice if you:

criticize yourself for your mistakes, harping on a small thing until they seem huge and you feel like you’re a disaster?

tend to ignore or downplay compliments from others and focus only on what you need to improve?
When you move outside of your comfort zone, do you hear a critical voice inside about your efforts?

Sometimes it’s easier to see these things in others. If you notice someone else diminishing themselves, notice if you do that as well.

Do you know someone who always uses self-depreciating humor or statements that puts themselves down?

Is there someone in your life who always seems to have a ‘good reason’ why they can’t do that thing they’ve been talking about?

How about that friend you know who “couldn’t possibly say” what needs to be said to that overbearing family member or friend?

Before we go any further, I want to you note your current daily/weekly experience with these kind of thoughts.

On a scale of 1-10, how often do you hear this critical self talk inside?

1 = rarely

5 = a few times a week

10 = several times/day

My current score ______________ Date _______________

Write this score down in your 5 Day Challenge Journal. (Still need to grab your JOURNAL? Get it here.)

This is just to measure where you are now so that at the end of the challenge, you can see how you’ve grown.

So be perfectly honest – no one is judging. No one will see this BUT YOU. I promise.

Becoming Aware

I met a friend for lunch the other day, and as we were saying hello, I complimented her on her dress. She shooed away my compliment, mentioning how wrinkled it was from sitting at her desk all morning. We moved on and later she mentioned that she was experiencing some challenges at work with one of her employees. She explained the situation and downplayed what she was seeing, saying twice “maybe it’s just me…”

When I suggested she talk to the woman, she made a face and said “I could never say that to her.”

Does this sound like it could have been you?

My friend didn’t notice, but her limiting self talk was as clear as the nose on her face. And I heard it over and over. (She gave me permission to share this story, by the way.) And every time she voiced those thoughts, they became stronger.

You see, critical self talk repeats itself because it’s a habit created by the brain.

Habits play out, and the more we repeat them, the stronger they become.

The habit comes from your mind’s tendency to save energy by scanning your world and making a quick judgement call on what’s happening. It’s intent is to save all the processing time it would need to process every situation with a fresh set of eyes and beliefs.

The brain is a pattern-seeking organ.

Once a rule, or belief, is set up, the mind constantly looks for proof that it is true, rather than questioning the very validity of that belief.

The problem is, in doing so, it often overlooks, discounts or completely ignores evidence that is to the contrary.

This can happen when your mind obsesses on a boss who made an awkward comment to you, rather than the positive feedback they offered a few days before.

Based on your specific beliefs about how you are viewed in your world, your mind may give greater importance to that awkward comment than to the positive comments —even though this happens without your conscious understanding or agreement.

Can we change this? Absolutely. There IS a way to change this. You can get back in the ‘driver’s seat’ of your mind and decide for yourself, intentionally, what is true and what isn’t.

So today’s Challenge Activity is to ask yourself one simple question.

IS IT REALLY TRUE?

As often as you notice a critical thought today, (i.e. a thought that makes you feel limited or small), ask yourself as a follow up, “Is this really true?”

Perhaps you meet with a potential client, who you know needs your services, and you explain your offering. Then the subject of price comes up, and they don’t immediately sign the contract.

Do you hear this inside: “It’s because I didn’t explain this well, or my skills/service aren’t worth the price.”

When you hear critical self talk, stop, and ask yourself, is this really true?

Your answer will help loosen the power that your limiting self-tank has on you.

To help this sink in, let’s play out the last example. Is it really true that the potential client doesn’t think you’re worth the price of your service or product?

Lets see… Perhaps she might need to think it over first before committing.

Or she could have just made a big purchase, like a new home, and isn’t quite ready for the next investment, or maybe her lunch isn’t agreeing with her and that face she’s making is due to indigestion.

Any of these could be true!

In that moment, if you weaken the hold on that negative thought, then you set yourself up for rewiring your mind towards more empowering self-speak.

Tomorrow we’ll talk about what to do next.

Anything you share in the Facebook community can help you get clarity, and will assist others too. You’ll hear you aren’t the only one struggling with this. The people in this group are so supportive and incredible, plus its kinda like therapy!

Kidding, it’s not, but you get my drift.

You don’t want to miss out! Can’t wait to see you over there! Click the image below to visit our Facebook Group (or search Thriving in Business in your FB app to find us.)

Click the image below to join the exclusive Thriving In Business + Life Community.

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